Yemi Ayebo, a seasoned actor better known by his stage as Yemi My Lover, claimed that it is against the rules of his family for him to help his wife with household duties.
This was said by Yemi My Lover during a recent interview with Punch.
When you were looking for the ideal marriage partner and circumstances, did your family or society put any pressure on you?
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Yes, of course.
How did you manage the pressure?
As a man, you must continue on and resist pressure until your life improves and your better condition becomes best. Simply keep moving forward in the belief that you will eventually succeed. When women delay marriage, they face similar pressure.
What was the experience like for you when your first child arrived?
I was thankful to God that at last I got a child.
Were you particular about the gender of your firstborn?
Well, the majority of guys would prefer to have a boy as their first child, but for me, it was a girl. I praise God. Whatever the situation, a child is a child, regardless of gender. When she arrived, I felt as though I had just won the World Cup for Nigeria.
Did you offer your wife any kind of support while she was pregnant?
No.
Why?
I wasn’t even around throughout that time, and on the day she put the baby to bed, I was at a different function. Her mother informed me of the situation.
Do you assist with chores at home?
I don’t do that.
Why?
In the family I come from, it’s not permitted.
Is it a tradition in your family?
How am I supposed to assist my wife with chores? what reason? I only planted vegetables behind the house because I enjoy eating greens. Both in the morning and at night, I water them. Additionally, I grew yam and pepper. At least with that, I think I’ve helped her out a bit so she won’t have to travel too far to collect any of these things.
Does this suggest that the relationship between you and your wife and children is like that between a king and his subjects?
All of the aforementioned, both as a friend and a king. They must treat me like a king because I am famous; a name is equivalent to a throne. Someone who is a celebrity shouldn’t go to the store and all that, much like when you asked me if I help with chores. The neighbourhood boys would then attack me before you could blink if someone saw me in the market and said, “Look, the star came to purchase something in the market.”
God has put me in a regal position, so I constantly think of myself as a king. But it doesn’t mean I don’t care about my wife, my kids, and my extended family. I don’t treat them badly.
Marriage dynamics are changing and these days, you find women picking some of the bills or giving financial support to their husbands. What is your position on this?
They (women) were created for that purpose. They are expected to be their spouses’ strongest advocates. Do you understand what the Yoruba term oluranlowo (helper) means? It is an aid. Due to the way things are done overseas, a working wife does not expect her husband to cover all of the expenditures while she maintains her earnings. Although it is the guy’s duty to take care of that, a woman with common sense shouldn’t expect the man to do everything, including paying all the expenses. She needs to help her hubby. It is required. It shouldn’t be left up to the man to make all the purchases and pay the bills. Men typically pass away before women, for this reason. It is due to having too much bukata (responsibilities)