Shaffy Bello has come up for the first time about her broken marriage, which she believes she sacrificed for her current fame in Nollywood.
Shaffy Bello, 50, said this in a recent interview with Chude Jideonwo, a media personality.
“I came back to Nigeria to spread my wings, I felt like I was pregnant and couldn’t have a child…like my wings were sort of closed in, like I was boxed in,” Shaffy Bello said in the interview, describing how she left her husband and children in America over ten years in search of greener pastures for herself in Nigeria.
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I needed more, my soul needed more, I was yearning for more. I didn’t know the price that will come with it but I had to make the sacrifice…I paid the price of not having a connection with my children then. My daughter was 13, my son was 11…I was an hands on mother before I left them. At a point I even quit my job to raise my kids…I sacrificed a lot for them to be nurtured…only to now leave them in their early teenage years with their father…and then again, their dad is out there making a living and i am here in Nigeria making a living….so they missed the joint parental touch but that is about that”
Speaking further Shaffy Bello said “I left my husband, because he allowed me….….we divorced 5 years ago when I was 45 and that was a huge sacrifice, he is a good man and father to the children….the distance affected us, long distance relationship was difficult…but I knew I wanted this, if I go back, it will be too much of a sacrifice, I wouldn’t be myself and at some point i will resent him so I had to focus on what I wanted.”
When asked how she handle being judged over the decision, Shaffy Bello responded saying “I judged myself…but I thank God he did it for me this way, because it is better for me. I built my marriage, we had kids, I nurtured them and then I progressed for my career. I suffered the judgement for so long of choosing career over family but I didn’t tell anyone.
You see, I don’t care much what people say about me, but I care more about my children and close knit family…when it happened I didn’t have to explain much to my family, my pastor, they saw me, they saw the light in my eyes…and agreed”
On how she relates with her children today, Shaffy Bello gushed saying “My children come here often on vacation. One day my daughter said to me, I am glad you made the decision you made, it has taught me as a woman to be a goal getter and go for what you want….I was happy when she said that”
Admonishing young women in their 20s and 30s trying to strike balance between their home, marriage and career, Shaffy Bello said “As a woman, there is time for everything…..marriage, children….and there is more to being a mum and wife….If your children are still young especially when they are babies, you need to nurture them, give them a good foundation because they didn’t ask to come to world but you brought them…..so give them that nurturing and then face career and self after they are groomed. Some have it all but don’t you dare forget your dreams and yourself in process.”
When asked if she will do marriage, Shaffy Bello concluded saying “Yes, i will. I am a one Man woman….I love marriage…..and marriage at this age for me is gonna be sweet, no babies to nurture …just enjoyment, take me travelling, vacation, and if you are gonna marry, you have to double up…and if it doesn’t happen, Shaffy is alright.”